Repeated rejection & failure
Every human being wants to be appreciated and recognized time and again. Appreciation offered through gestures and motivating words creates positive vibrations in the environment. This kindles the fire inside people converting even a novice in to a great performer. On the contrary, non acceptance or rejection hurts people to a great extent. Rejection shatters human need to belong to a society. Repeated rejection, in particular, causes huge damage to the mental and emotional aspects of people making them aggressive and angry. This in turn diminishes their IQ and EQ levels to a great extent.
Some people experience repeated rejection and failure in key aspects of their life like career, business and relationships. While many fail to recover from the damage caused by repeated rejection, some make it to the top using the sheer pressure exerted on them as stepping stones. Michael Jordan, world’s best Basketball player is a classic example for winning after repeated rejection and failures. Let us have a look at repeated rejection from a psychological angle and ways to recover from the failure quickly to make it to the big board.
Why do some people experience repeated rejection and failure in career, business and relationships?
Many people experience repeated rejection and failure in their career, business and relationships. Various reasons can be attributed to this ranging between their approach towards people, challenges faced or life itself and attitude of others towards them. Some such reasons are listed below to provide clarity about the same.
- Making others feel constantly bad through words and actions which in turn shows your personality & true colors.
- Annoying competition or individuals intentionally out of jealousy to slander their image and to take out competition which always works against the person initiating it.
- Some people are so lazy, they try to pull others down rather than making an effort and play the game fair and square.
- If you lag behind in capabilities, you will be left out by others who have equipped themselves with value and worth.
- If you are always angry and heated up and have no control over your emotions, you will be treated as a fool for a person who has no control over his mind and tongue and you will eventually lead to disaster.
- People who like to reel pleasure in others misery are never successful, even though they might wear a mask of fake emotions but it cannot be compared with genuine feelings.
- The people who cannot relate to you will reject you in order to escape from your presence as you don’t possess the quality or personality they are looking for.
To summarize, you are getting rejected because
- Of your mindset
- Your lack of required skills and value or worth.
- People and situations are different and so are the expectations from you. Until you understand this, nothing is going to change for you. For your circumstances to change , you have to change. You have to understand that dealing with any kind of people require patience, understanding and a genuine interest in their affairs. Be it your wife, be it your business partners, be it your client. You have to learn each day continuously to be better than what you were yesterday in every aspect.
Abraham Lincoln who is considered as one of the greatest leaders of the century is a best example in this context. He went bankrupt not once but twice in his life, failed in innumerable business ventures he initiated and got defeated more than 26 times to hold a key position in public office. While many a times his defeat was attributed to people’s mindset towards him, he constantly groomed himself to equip himself with all required skills to succeed. Ultimately his understanding that people are different and so are their expectations from him helped him rise up the ladder and the rest is history.
How to overcome repeated rejection & failure?
Successes and failures are directly related to individuals. No external factor can make an individual a failure if he is mentally strong. Let us look at some ways through which repeated rejection and failures can be overcome easily through a classic example.
Bill Gates about whom even little children know was not a success right at the first instance in his life. He is basically a Harvard dropout. Traf-O-Data, the business he started jointly with Paul Allen, the co-founder of Microsoft was a huge failure. Such repeated rejections and failures from the various quarters of his life did not bog him down. Instead, he converted them into stepping stones and increased his learning value adding lessons from the past which helped him to create an omnipresent omnipotent IT giant named Microsoft. Go through the following points relating to the success story of Bill Gates.
- Focus in building your resilience instead of getting bogged down due to rejection.
- Become aware of the personal and environmental aspects ,so you get the right perspective of the reality around you.
- Understand clearly that fear of getting rejected is natural and once you accept this reality you only need to be persistent and focused to achieve any goal.
- Getting rejected only means understanding the truth, the truth that you have not yet found. It is not the end of life because you can always look for the truth, it is always around us, the answers to all our questions.
- Consider failures caused by rejection as lessons to perform in a better manner the next time you encounter such things.
- When you get rejected, take complete ownership of the same. This will make you feel more responsible. This feeling must be used as a launching pad to greatness.
- Use rejections as the opportunity to self introspect yourself. Get rid of the unwanted useless negative baggage that makes you the victim of repeated rejections. For that , identify such negative baggage first.
- Be mentally ready to reject poisonous people who reject you. For all you know they do not want to accept you as you are. Remember, they are not the complete world.
- Rejections make successes sweeter than they are. Achieving success right at the first attempt is a happy thing. But achieving success after repeated failures makes happiness incomparable, as then you have experience in handling problems which would have not come to you if you would have succeeded in first go.
- Cultivate the type of mental grit in yourself to accept rejections in a graceful manner. This will make you more matured pushing you towards success eventually.
Steps to take for persistent success
Overcoming the mental pressure caused by rejections is the first step towards achieving persistent success. This gives enough mental strength to climb the uphill to reach success. Some tips that will help people achieve success in the field of their choosing in a persistent manner are given below. When getting rejected by others:
- Avoid pulling yourself down. For all you know, your attitude might not be the real cause and there might be something else to it.
- Regain your peace of mind immediately on getting rejected by practicing breathing exercises and other things that suits you the best. For example, Make a routine, like for people who go to gym everyday, should not resent going on such days when you feel weak as these will be the days which will be the real test of your character and resolve.
- Ask for true feedback from the concerned friends and near ones. Be ready to take the feedback realistically and in the proper perspective.
- Be positive at all points of time. Decide sternly that you will remain positive throughout, even at times of rejection and failure. You have to believe that you will make it no matter what.
- Never allow rejection to rub your self esteem on the wrong side. You know what you are capable of doing, so never feel pity on yourself and get out there with double force than what you started at.
Written by Rama Ramji and edited by SiteMaster